Lack, the unique characteristic of belief in separation, is one of the key drivers of our suffering  a gross example of this is drug and alcohol addiction

addiction suffering

….and, that is an inescapable observation while watching Paul Hedderman’s initial interview videos.

It is our belief that we exist as separate, individual body/minds. And, that is the source of all of our suffering including our addiction(s).

Happiness, Seeking, and Addiction

What everyone wants, without exception(?), is happiness.

So, let’s consider some basic human actions or behaviors: working, recovering from illness, taking a vacation, enjoying a first date, playing with children, riding a roller coaster, attending the funeral of a loved one, dancing all night, or even paying taxes. And, what is underneath it all? … either fear of losing something or hope of gaining something.

Thus, this fear and desire are actually two sides of the same coin: the coin of happiness.

addiction Happiness freedom

Presumably, happiness motivates all of our human behavior, both the pursuit of those things we believe will make us happy and our resistance to those things we believe will not.

And a closer look at our happiness programming  reveals some very interesting clues regarding the nature of our journey here in life.

Seems like, the desire for happiness necessarily implies that we are missing something, that we are incomplete as we are.  And, this sense of  incompleteness motivates all of our behavior.

Presumably, if we already felt whole,  there would be no seeking at all. As a result, there would necessarily have to be peace. So, one could even assert that seeking is almost synonymous to being a human being.

Furthermore, when we investigate this desire for happiness, our initial intuition is to turn outward, to focus outside of ourselves.  And, if we believe that what we are is unsatisfactory, then, it would stand to reason that what we need is outside of ourselves.

Core Belief: I am separate

addiction polarization separation

The genesis of this idea comes from a core belief: “I am separate.”  We must be separate to be incomplete, right? We must be separate to even look for something outside ourselves, right?

This is a very powerful belief.

Also, the belief that something, outside of us, can complete us, make us happy, can only occur if two criteria are met:

1.    That I am separate. That there are boundaries in which I am contained, and,
2.    That, within this container, I am incomplete. And, need the addition or subtraction of something in order to find peace and happiness.

Although this may sound  conceptual and inconsequential, the implications of these two basic ideas lie at the root of all human suffering … and addiction(s).

So, presumably, all human beings are attempting to complete themselves with either acquiring or letting go. Acquiring: a family, a new girl friend or boyfriend, a career, a new car, a new home,  or more money. Letting go: vanity, drugs and alcohol, overeating, too much television, gambling, a feeling. Attaining: spiritual enlightenment.

And, Paul gets this.

Thus began the journey of making a documentary regarding addiction, recovery and spiritual awakening. So, here is a preview: Paul Hedderman (in conversation with Chris Hebard), titled What’s Not Happening:


1st Image: Suffering by Jaaaiiro Souza, edited (dimension & logo inserted), CC BY 2.0.
2nd Image: Freedom – image copyrights Moyan Brenn, edited (dimension & logo inserted), CC BY 2.0.
3rd Image: Duality by johnhain, CC0 Public Domain.
This post is an edited migration of an old Stillness Speaks 2010 post.

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